REASON FOR RESTLESSNESS

Reason for Restlessness

For me your love

Was not a deal

An agreement, a contract

Or an announcement

It was not even to use when needed

There was not lust or desire

It was only this much

That you sit with me

On these stairs for sometime

I would have taken some rest

Under your shadow

Sharing my sorrows and pleasures

This was love to me

That is why I ask you

Tell me about your mother

Your father and brother

Even about your children

How is their chest congestion

And their frozen cough

That is why I tell you

Again and again

I was not loving you

I was just trying

To know the world

Was preparing to understand life

I was just trying to live life

The life which had gone somewhere

Leaving me alone

My wings were plucked

My desires were nibbled

My breath was snatched

There is no oxygen in my nostrils

Lots of carbon dioxide has filled in

Had gone to buy some vegetables

And to fetch milk

But got unconscious on my way

Fell down on the side of the road

My wife couldn’t recognize me

My daughter

Couldn’t decipher my writing

What else could I do

In this old age

Sat down on a culvert

Was seeing

The strong winds blowing

The moon descending

And also seeing

The sun rising

Fired and perspiring everyday

How things are being bought

And how these are sold

That is why I say

Love is not a deal for me

Was not even a thought ‘Ghalib’

To please my self

It was a calling

Coming from an old well

Or from the inside

Of an old ruined fort

It troubled me

Troubled me to no end

I am just trying

To find a reason

For this restlessness.

VIMAL KUMAR
TRANSLATED BY PREMLATA